Saturday, March 17, 2012

Devastation, Denial & Disappointment

It's been a while since I last posted to this blog. My journey continues, It will be 10 months on March 25th since I said goodbye to my first TAC baby. We've decided, not to give up and keep working towards becoming parents. I have been trying to conceive for the past 4 months.

I've been having a really hard time dealing with my feelings. I've so far tried therapy with a therapist. I've tried talking with family, friends and even strangers. When I talk to people concerning my losses and advise them of how many I've lost, and what I've done so far to prevent my losses. I get the question of "When do you stop trying after experiencing 10 losses?" My response to her was "I will go to my grave still tying! Unless you have experienced my pain you won't understand why I continue try".

I have three words to describe my pain, Devastation, Denial, Disappointment!


Anonymous said...

Hi, AbbySister

this it Tami (Cinnamontears2) on abbyloopers. I just wanted to say be encouraged. I am sorry to hear of your losses. Your story has helped me endure my 3 losses. I can't imagine what you are going through. However, I did go and see Dr Davis and I got a TAC. I only wish I remembered to ask him to reinforce it in advance with the Occulsion you spoke of.

Please keep sharing your wisdom with us as you journey closer to your motherhood dreams coming true. I have faith that it will happen for you. You are still so young and miracles are happening for women in their forties these days. So, only you can decide the next step. I feel your pain and can relate to brushing people off telling me to just stop trying and adopt. I tell them adoption is not an option until I no longer desire my own baby. Adoption or stopping my motherhood journey based on others views will leave me only more lonely and dissapointed.

Keep your head up! It will be alright in the end... Take Care.

Sending you lots of baby dust!!

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone, I have had 5 misscarriages the last one was 10days ago and I had a vaginal cerclage placed at 13weeks I lost the baby at 19weeks its really hard but I have hope and If I have too get pregnant 25times too have one successful pregnancy so be it I'm determined good luck I know how you feel !!!