Patiently waiting on first OB visit

As a little girl all you want when you become an adult is to be married to the man of your dreams, have a huge wedding, a house with the white fence and little ones to fill it up. I never knew how much goes into the development of little humans until becoming of age and having all these complications. There are some many things that can go wrong during development in the first three months. These two weeks have been nerve wrecking as I don't know what's going on inside of my body and if my little bean is actually developing. Based off my last cycle on 7/25/14 I will be 7 weeks. I'm nervous because I have had no morning sickness. I don't feel pregnant some days. On Sunday 7/20/14 I had some spotting for about 3 days which it wasn't red but brown so I was not to alarmed. I know every pregnancy is different but I'm not sure why I'm not feeling pregnant. In my last pregnancies I have been sick as a dog until the second trimester. I'm trying to enjoy the fact that this little bean is not making me sick but I'm also trying not to get attached. I have had so many losses it's really hard for me to get attatched to this pregnancy. Don't get me wrong I'm extremely happy I was able to conceive on my own and I look forward to meeting my angel in Febauary @37 weeks. I'm hoping I can convince them to deliver me on my birthday 2/6/15 which would be the best birthday gift in the world. I believe hold heartly my little bean will make it. I have my MFM appointment with Dr. Ellis @ Northside hospital on 8/8/14 which I will then be 9 weeks. I can't help but be excited and a little distant at the same time as little bean is still in a critical stage of development. I put our lives in my creators hands and look forward to a long boring pregnancy.