Devastation, Denial & Disappointment

It's been a while since I last posted to this blog. My journey continues, It will be 10 months on March 25th since I said goodbye to my first TAC baby. We've decided, not to give up and keep working towards becoming parents. I have been trying to conceive for the past 4 months.

I've been having a really hard time dealing with my feelings. I've so far tried therapy with a therapist. I've tried talking with family, friends and even strangers. When I talk to people concerning my losses and advise them of how many I've lost, and what I've done so far to prevent my losses. I get the question of "When do you stop trying after experiencing 10 losses?" My response to her was "I will go to my grave still tying! Unless you have experienced my pain you won't understand why I continue try".

I have three words to describe my pain, Devastation, Denial, Disappointment!

Somewhat disappointed

I received my cycle this morning and I'm a somewhat disappointed not sure why I'm feeling disappointed. I expected it to come just not until the 23rd not on the 18h. So this means my cycle length has changed. I'm not sure if it changed due to the surgery or If has changed since I delivered Londyn. Never have I been on such a short cycle length. I will make an appointment to see my GYN soon. In order not to disappoint myself and my husband for now I think I will focus on my new job I start next week. Stay tuned the LORD has a plan for me.